Virginia, by Jan Mathers

I first met Virginia when she attended a speakers workshop I was helping put on for Stonecroft Ministries. After the workshop, she immediately set to work and soon had her first draft ready for me to look at. I love helping women put together their life stories but I understand that it can be a painful process to let someone else edit that story so I’m always a little apprehensive when I start working with someone.

I needn’t worried with Virginia, she literally ate up the process. She never took exception to any of my suggestions, wanting to do whatever it took to be the best speaker she could be, which really defines Virginia – she always wanted to be the best she could be. I didn’t find out until much later that one of Virginia’s biggest dreams was to become a speaker. Thankfully she realized that dream before her death and was able to share it several times before her death, having profound impact on the women she spoke to. This morning I would like to share bits and pieces from her testimony.

In her talk she told about her life long struggle with insecurity. She said “I had a lot of fears. I was afraid of not waking up in the morning. I was afraid of change. I was afraid of authority figures such as teachers--anyone who could tell me I was wrong. I was terrified of being wrong or of not knowing the answers to questions I was asked.”

These fears fueled her insecurities so that she stressed out about everything from homework to being as good as she could possibly be in order to deserve being loved.
As she grew up, so did her fears and insecurities. She jokingly, but seriously, talked about the first time she went grocery shopping as a newlywed. She asked Mark what we should buy. He replied "That's your responsibility; you're the cook."

She said, “I felt a chill go through me. Terror struck my heart because now I was responsible for someone else’s health.” She said, “I carried that trauma with me for years; I became anxious every time I went to the grocery store.”
Early in her marriage they discovered that she had an ailment called Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. She couldn't tolerate soap, cleansers, perfumes, and many, many other manmade products with fragrances. It made her life miserable as she became increasingly sensitive to more and more things to the point she had to quit going out in public. You can imagine how isolated this made her feel.
Then she said, “two of my worst fears became a reality. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and our business was in danger of collapsing after two major clients reneged on their bills.”

She said, “I didn’t really know God at this point but I began to blame him for my problems. If He was a loving God as I'd been told, why was he allowing all this to happen to me. Was He punishing me because I was not good enough for Him?

She said one day she became so angry that she actually yelled at God. "Why ARE YOU doing this to me?" I cried and cried in complete frustration. After calming down, she begged God to please help her. She was at the end of her rope.

At this same time, their former landlord was threatening to sue them for the remainder their lease agreement which represented 8 months worth of rent. They didn’t come close to having the money he wanted, and you can imagine how this intensified Virginia’s fear of authority. Mark decided to go meet with the landlord--to tell him to sue us because we couldn't pay – their business was on the verge of bankruptcy.

While Mark went to talk to the landlord, Virginia called a friend who she felt was on good terms with God and asked her to pray for them. When Mark came home, he announced that the landlord had let them out of the lease in return for just two months rent. Mark wrote him a check immediately and although it left them with less than $10 left in the bank they were saved from a devastating lawsuit.
She said, “That day was a turning point for me when I saw how God answered my friend’s prayers for us. I began to read the Bible, wanting to know more about God, and was amazed at how relevant and applicable it was to me!” She said, “I discovered that God loved me just as I was – I didn’t have to work hard to earn his love, I didn’t have to work at all, like I’d always felt I had to do with everyone else.” In fact she said, “I discovered God loved me so much He sent His Son Jesus Christ to earth to die for my sins. I learned that sin is anything that separates us from God, attitudes, habits, and that we’re all sinners and the result of our sin is eternal separation from God. But God doesn’t want to be separated from us and so he sent his son Jesus to this earth to pay the price for our sins. What set Jesus apart from all the other great men who walked this earth in that after he was put to death, he came back to life three days later came back to life and because of that I am able to have a personal relationship with him.

It was at this point she prayed, asking God to forgive her sins and she gave him control of her life.

After that as she continued reading her Bible, learning how to focus on God rather than her circumstances and slowly her body began to heal, her fears and insecurities became manageable. She said, “A relationship with God doesn't make everything perfect, but it does give me the strength and wisdom to deal with problems in a constructive way.

As I was rereading Virginia’s testimony yesterday I thought about how they say the two greatest fears in the world are the fear of death and the fear of public speaking. You know, when you think of that, you realize just what a remarkable woman Virginia was – she faced both of those fears with remarkable courage, setting an example for all of us. And she’d be the first to tell you she was able to do it because of her relationship with Jesus Christ.

Virginia always closed her testimony by asking her audience a couple of questions. She said, “Do any of you struggle with worry and fear like I did? Are you defeated by negative attitudes that have robbed you of the ability to enjoy life. That is not how Jesus wants you to live. In the bible, He said" I am come that you might have abundant life." The abundant life that He wants you to have begins with a relationship with Him.

All it takes is to confess that Jesus is the Son of God who died for your sins and believe that God raised him from the dead and that He is alive today. When you do that, your relationship with God begins.”

And then she’d conclude by saying, “I am now going to say a prayer similar to one I said many years ago when I began my relationship with God. If you are ready to make a change in your life, you may pray along with me silently while I pray aloud.”

And that’s what I’d like to do right now.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for sending your son Jesus to die for my sins. Forgive me of those sins. Right now I turn from my own way and receive you as my Savior and Lord.
Thank You for your tremendous gift of Everlasting Life.
Thank You for taking me into Your Family.

I ask this in your Name.
Amen

If you prayed that prayer with me your relationship with God has now begun. And I have a hunch Virginia is jumping up and down in excitement right now, so thrilled to know God’s still using her testimony. Virginia gave this little booklet away to anyone who prayed with her and I have some of those with me today if any of you prayed this prayer with me.

Note: The original speech as given by Virginia is also available